Comments on: Straight from the horse’s ass - er, I mean mouth http://cephyn.com/2007/02/23/straight-from-the-horses-ass-er-i-mean-mouth/ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:37:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: cephyn http://cephyn.com/2007/02/23/straight-from-the-horses-ass-er-i-mean-mouth/#comment-30 cephyn Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:49:14 +0000 http://cephyn.com/2007/02/23/straight-from-the-horses-ass-er-i-mean-mouth/#comment-30 Yeah, I mean you're right that some movement in the right direction is good. No doubt. I just hope it's real, and he's not just saying stuff to put on a good face in the media. The way he flip-flops around in the interview, I can't tell if he's struggling to deal with this, or struggling to appear to be dealing with this. On the roommate thing, all I was thinking was that it just seems to me that if it would have been OK if the guy knew beforehand, there's no real reason it shouldn't be OK that he found out afterwards. Which makes me think it probably wouldn't have been OK beforehand either. That's what made me think he was unreceptive. I could be wrong though. Hard to say of course. 8) And I agree, his anger is likely based on that pretty ridiculous assumption. Hopefully someday issues like this won't be issues anymore. Someday. Yeah, I mean you’re right that some movement in the right direction is good. No doubt. I just hope it’s real, and he’s not just saying stuff to put on a good face in the media. The way he flip-flops around in the interview, I can’t tell if he’s struggling to deal with this, or struggling to appear to be dealing with this.

On the roommate thing, all I was thinking was that it just seems to me that if it would have been OK if the guy knew beforehand, there’s no real reason it shouldn’t be OK that he found out afterwards. Which makes me think it probably wouldn’t have been OK beforehand either. That’s what made me think he was unreceptive. I could be wrong though. Hard to say of course. 8) And I agree, his anger is likely based on that pretty ridiculous assumption.

Hopefully someday issues like this won’t be issues anymore. Someday.

]]> By: katya http://cephyn.com/2007/02/23/straight-from-the-horses-ass-er-i-mean-mouth/#comment-29 katya Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:19:09 +0000 http://cephyn.com/2007/02/23/straight-from-the-horses-ass-er-i-mean-mouth/#comment-29 Well, you know how I feel about this situation and homophobia in general, but there is some movement in his attitude. Thats a step in the right direction. He has now learned that using the word hate has consequences, and that there are real people behind that hate with real lives. Thats more than some people do. I'm not saying hes right, or even that his choice to walk away, and not condone behavior he has no right to judge in the first place, is ok, but it is a step toward understanding. As far as the trust issue goes, you've got a point, but so does he. If he is communicating that he hates gays, it would make sense that a homosexual friend of his would hide that part of himself. If he were open to it, then it is a trust issue. If the other person was unsure of themselves, again you have a point, but if they knew and were blatently lying to a receptive friend he's got a point. I think the problem is that his friend who hates his gay ex-roommate actually hates that he was rooming with a gay man without knowing it. That is the trust he feels is violated- which makes the horribly silly assumption that the other man could do nothing but find you attractive, and that by rooming with him you were consenting to being oggled. Just plain wrong. This is a tough issue. He still needs alot of help, and he needs to realize his actions have effects on other people. I try to find the positive in situations like this though, there is progress being made. Well, you know how I feel about this situation and homophobia in general, but there is some movement in his attitude. Thats a step in the right direction. He has now learned that using the word hate has consequences, and that there are real people behind that hate with real lives. Thats more than some people do.
I’m not saying hes right, or even that his choice to walk away, and not condone behavior he has no right to judge in the first place, is ok, but it is a step toward understanding.

As far as the trust issue goes, you’ve got a point, but so does he. If he is communicating that he hates gays, it would make sense that a homosexual friend of his would hide that part of himself. If he were open to it, then it is a trust issue. If the other person was unsure of themselves, again you have a point, but if they knew and were blatently lying to a receptive friend he’s got a point.
I think the problem is that his friend who hates his gay ex-roommate actually hates that he was rooming with a gay man without knowing it. That is the trust he feels is violated- which makes the horribly silly assumption that the other man could do nothing but find you attractive, and that by rooming with him you were consenting to being oggled. Just plain wrong.
This is a tough issue. He still needs alot of help, and he needs to realize his actions have effects on other people. I try to find the positive in situations like this though, there is progress being made.

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